To: All Employees
From: Managment
Subject: Special High Intensity Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work
and productivity from employees, it will be our policy
to keep all employees well trained through our program
of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are
trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone
else.

If you feel you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T.
on the job, please see your manager. You will
immediately be placed on top of the S.H.I.T. List ,
and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that
you get all the S.H.I.T. you can can handle.

Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed
in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs
(D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.) Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee
Attitude Training (E.AT.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers
took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t
have to do S.H.I.T. anymore and are full of S.H.I.T.
already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in
job training others. We can add your name to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those
who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T.
jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of
Intensity Programming (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to
our Head of Training, Special High Intensity Training
(H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank You,

Boss In General
Special High Intensity Training
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

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